Are You Ready For Some Football?

In recognition of the 2010 Super Bowl. . .I’ve got three things to share with you. 

First, here’s one of my favorite football stories.

 A little boy who went to school wearing his Dallas Cowboys jersey was asked by his teacher to name the four seasons. Without hesitation he said, “Pre-season, regular season, post season and off season.”

 No doubt he was picking up a lot at home. . .what are we teaching our children?”

 Second, here is my favorite Super Bowl/football scripture.

  “I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don't get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I'm off and running, and I'm not turning back.”

 Third and finally, I came across some definitions which I think will help you with your “football-speak” theology.

 The definitions stirred in me through a sermon that I read by a pastor Dallas Henry from Maine.   Some of them are his, some of them are mine… Google gets some credit and God gets all the glory.

 Backfield-in-Motion– Walking out the sanctuary during the sermon to visit the restroom or water fountain.

Bench warmer - Those who do not sing, pray, work, or apparently do anything but sit in church.

Blitz - The rush for the restaurants following the closing prayer of morning worship.

Blocking - Standing inside the church door complaining to the pastor about the sermon.

 End Run - Getting out of church quickly, without speaking to any guest or fellow member.

Extra point - What you receive when you tell the preacher the sermon was too short.

Flex Defense - The ability to allow absolutely nothing said during the sermon to affect your life.

Fumble - A lousy sermon or to be politically correct, maybe I should say that it was a sermon for which the pastor was insufficiently prepared.

Halfback Option - The decision of 50% of the congregation not to return for the evening service.

Halftime - The period between Sunday school and worship when many choose to leave.

Illegal motion - Leaving before the altar call or the final prayer.

Instant Replay - The preacher loses his notes and falls back on last week’s illustrations.

 Interference – Clipping your fingernails during the sermon.

 Personal Foul – The only time you open your mouth during praise and worship is to make snide jokes about the singing abilities of the team members.

Quarterback sneak - Sunday school teachers entering the church building five minutes after Sunday school begins.

Sacked – When you think the pastor’s message applies to everybody in church but you.

Staying in the Pocket - What happens to a lot of money that should be given to the Lord’s work.

Sudden Death - What happens to the attention span of the congregation if the preacher goes "overtime."

Trap - You’re called on to pray and are asleep.

Two-minute Warning - The point at which you realize the sermon is almost over and begin to gather up belongings so you can go get your children.

 Enjoy the game.  I'll watch on my DVR...as I'll be preaching during the game.